This is a guest post by Shobhit Choudhary of LifestyleDen.com.
We are complicated creatures in a complicated world. So let’s try to keep things simple: only a person who has managed to achieve a little bit of something in each of the fundamental areas of life can be called successful. The areas are four – in terms of personality, relationships, financial stability and health. It’s no coincidence that personality comes first – it is the most important aspect of our being. All the other goodness of a human life stems from this endless source.
Everything starts there, but then goes far beyond. So here we offer you a few pieces of advice that could help you become someone who brings joy to themselves as well as the people around them.
Personality
It matters. The reason for this is that you carry it with yourself everywhere you go. You might be a true professional at work but you still go home and do chores, you still interact with people outside of the work place. So if you do not like the person you are, you will be dissatisfied with yourself for at least a few hours a day. And we don’t want this, do we?
So here are three tips for you to consider:
- Respect the school cleaner
This is a metaphor. What we mean is that you should respect every single human being out there. Sometimes the school cleaner cleans the toilets way better than the teacher teaches a lesson. Perhaps, the cleaner actually does what he/she likes or perhaps this is the best he/she can do, given all the conditions. We should respect people for that. Because if we ever come to talk to the school cleaner, we will soon see that she/he is just as much a person as we are.
Such an open attitude could do wonders to the way we see the world and interact with others.
- Read books
Different kinds of books, we should add. Do not just get obsessed with books about self-help or how to become rich, or what are the best techniques you can use at work. Read a wide range of books; find some that can make you a better person.
Try fiction, literature has a long history and people have been writing for centuries, so you will certainly find at least one style to fit your taste. The more stories you read, the more you expand your consciousness and the more empathetic you become. Books open up your mind to new perspectives and this can make you much more flexible in our modern world.
- See yourself with the eyes of others
We are more than our intentions. Actions and results have a huge role in determining who we really are. This is why we should learn to evaluate our choices and behavior not only from a subjective, but also from an objective point of view.
We will give you a simple example. You go jogging in the park, you have almost broken your record as you are so close to reaching 5 miles, but you are so exhausted that you cannot see anything around you. A man is lying on the grass nearby but you never really take a closer look because right now it’s all about your record. But it turns out that the man has just had a heart attack and he needs help. It’s a wonderful aim – setting your bests and beating them. But try to see yourself from an external point of view as well. Are you an ambitious man, or are you a careless animal, blind for the suffering of others?
Being truly aware of yourself is of great importance. Eventually, you might find yourself raising some questions about the credibility of your thoughts and actions; perhaps, this could help you change certain aspects of your personality and become a better person.
Relationships
You cannot live without people. And it can’t be all partying and fun, sometimes things can get slightly more serious. It’s important to realize that no other human being is obliged to be an active part of your life. So in order to be happy, you should find the people who understand you and share your interests. And you should know how to keep them.
Now, three tips are certainly not enough to cover such a broad topic. We don’t really aim to be complete here. We just think that everyone should remember the advice mentioned below.
- Avoid talking to people while you are mad at them
It’s impossible to always agree with everyone around you. You might have a better idea for a presentation, you might dislike the way your boss is treating you, or you might find the behavior of your beloved one disrespectful and ugly.
Sometimes disagreement grows into a strong negative emotion and that’s when instincts take over. Be more than your instincts. Tell the other person that you would rather discuss the issue later. Sit quietly for a while or walk out of the room. Give yourself enough time to consider the situation, decide what your final opinion is and find the right words to express it.
You want the other person to understand you, of course. But you don’t have to hurt them along the way.
- Don’t judge – understand
A wonderful quote from Scott Fitzgerald is always applicable: “Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in the world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had”. As much as our lives are about us, we live with people who need understanding just as much as we do. Empathy is hard-wired in our brains; we wouldn’t have survived as a species otherwise.
A simple fact is that there is a reason behind everything that we do and everything that we are. And this applies to every human being. We should try to be less detached from others and see through their behavior. The reasons for a certain action are just as important as the action itself.
We shouldn’t give up on our ability to relate to others and accept them as they are. We could even help them change, but do so by using positive rather than negative methods. Do not tell them what they can’t do. Instead, show them how they could do things differently.
- Be kind
‘Not caring about people, it’s the new trend’ – phrases like this are so empty it’s difficult to understand how someone could possibly be led by them.
A smile, a simple help with the door or the shopping trolley should be enough to make almost anyone feel better. It doesn’t take much effort but it could change the whole day of the other person – in fact, yours, too.
And when it comes to the people you care about, kindness saves whole relationships. The fact that we make so many mistakes and misunderstand each other on such a large scale shows better than anything else just how much we need kindness in our lives. Write your grandma a letter, buy your grandpa a new knife, sit down and tell your child a story. If there is something you like about the person next to you, tell them. If you enjoy someone’s company, show them. It doesn’t have to be that difficult.
Financial stability
It’s a fact that we live in a world, marked by the impersonal ruling of money. There is nothing we could achieve without having financial stability. Even if we ditch to the woods and live away from our civilization for the rest of our lives, we still need to start somewhere. And getting there is usually dependable on money as much as living in a flat that belongs to a skyscraper at the centre of New York.
Here are three tips to consider in that aspect as well:
- Make a plan
‘If you don’t make your own life plan, chances are you will fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you – not much’. When we say that, we don’t mean that you should make a definite plan and follow it so strictly that you forget everything else.
We simply mean that you should have an idea about what you want to do with your life. And then you should act accordingly and set aims that satisfy it. Study the things you like, take the right courses, read additional literature, do voluntary work to get experience if you can’t find anyone to hire you. Otherwise, you might end up as a 40-year-old man with a mid-life crisis and a bitter taste of disappointment.
- Interviews and proper courses
There are hundreds of tips for being a respectable interviewee; read some of them. Practice handshakes with friends, imagine possible situations, and answer imaginary questions in front of the mirror. As much as interviewers try to be objective, first opinion matters and they usually need less than a minute to form it.
Something else – there are many courses you could take in order to feel completely ready to work at a certain position. Whether you have graduated from university, or not, it could still be a great thing to mention in your CV. Such courses usually give you a chance to practice and even if you already know the things they offer to teach you, they still make you see things more clearly. So many courses can be done online for free nowadays that it’s a shame there are people who ignore them.
- Chose something you would do with passion
It’s true that the financial aspect should always be considered when we make a choice. But it shouldn’t end there. If you go to work and do your job every day just so you don’t get fired, it’s a red flag telling you it’s time for a change. You will only work for slightly over 1/3 of your life (of course, that’s in case the retirement age stops growing already). Enjoy that time.
You might earn $20 less a week, but if that’s the price you should pay for going to work with that vibe of excitement, so be it. You will take a year longer to buy that house, but you won’t be getting home exhausted every evening. You would be getting home joyful and energetic, you would be feeling alive.
Health
Just one piece of advice here: seek the balance. This is the only way to be wholesome and to feel wholesome. Find the balance between healthy and unhealthy food, healthy and unhealthy habits. Try to live somewhere in between what’s empirical and what is slightly above. Turn sport and art into an active part of your life, but don’t just give up on everything else. Find the balance between giving and taking and reduce the extremes. Unless you’re into skydiving, of course – that’s the only extreme worth taking.
Let us know if you agree with us. Have we missed something crucial? Your opinion matters so feel free to share it with us.
About Carson Derrow
