Many people think likeability is something you are born with. That’s true to an extent but not always. Some consciously behave in a manner that makes them likable. These folks make people around them feel comfortable and welcomed. likable
The likeability factor comes from a lot of behavioral attributes. People who know how to be friendly and are genuine always seem likable to others. It is important to connect with people and be approachable. There are a few tips that you can use to make you a nicer person.
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How to Be a More Likeable Person?
Not everybody is born with an alluring personality, some work hard on improving their social skills ultimately making them more likable. Begin with these 13 tips on how to be a likable person and see the difference. Start chatting with people around and they will want to be friends with you and hang out with you as well. Being a friendly person is important to form strong connections with others.
1. Have a friendly, open demeanor
Wondering what makes someone more likable? Having a friendly and open demeanor makes you more approachable. There are chances that you are uncomfortable in social settings or are an introvert who likes to stay aloof. But, that’s the exact thing that stops you from being a likable person.
Somebody who comes across as reserved or snobbish in the first instance is at the risk of being ignored. Nobody will take any interest in getting to know you. People are always trying to interpret your behavior,
Be open, verbally and non verbally. Smiling at others works wonders. It is more about how you say something than what you say. Acknowledge others by nodding, they will know that you are listening. Be polite and show interest in what others have to say. Be you, don’t pretend to be anybody else. Being comfortable in your skin encourages people around you to be confident in their skin as well.
2. Be honest about your needs and boundaries
Honesty is the best policy when it comes to your needs and setting boundaries. Being likable does not mean that you let anybody take advantage of you. People like others who are honest about their needs, which gives clarity and automatically sets boundaries.
What makes someone more likable is the fact that they know when to set boundaries without hurting anyone.
Knowing what you need comes from experiences that you’ve had in the past.
3. Listen first, then speak
Often we listen to respond and do not understand what somebody is saying. Active listening is important if you want to be a nicer person. Show interest in what others have to say. Focus on understanding the person and their thoughts. Give others a chance to speak, if you keep interrupting a person they will not want to engage in a conversation with you.
Good listeners establish strong bonds with others. Give importance to people you are talking to and let them speak first. Speak after you have clearly understood what the other person is trying to say. Ask questions if you need clarification, this ensures that there is no misunderstanding. Good listeners gain trust and can influence others in a positive light. People appreciate others who take the time to listen to them and then speak.
4. Be open-minded
Open-minded people engage in all kinds of conversations and connect with people from different backgrounds. Being open-minded is crucial at workplaces where you have to coordinate and work with different people. When you are willing to talk to people and get to know them, you become more likable.
Also, Read – 10 Tips For Being Successful In Every Aspect of Life
Practice being open-minded, avoid communication-based on pre-conceived notions. Try to understand people’s points of view and avoid judging anybody. Even if you disagree with somebody, make them feel that you are listening and understanding them. Show willingness to accept what somebody has to say and respond with your views respectfully. Being open-minded encourages meaningful discussions. Everybody likes people who they can talk to without the fear of being judged.
5. Ditch your devices and focus on who’s in front of you
Put away your devices and focus on the people in front of you. Technology has taken over our lives, we are always glued to our screens forgetting the importance of relationships with real people. Socialize with humans in front of you rather than with your virtual friends.
Engage in small talk, center all your attention on the person you are talking to. If you are busy with your phone, you will miss out on building your relationship with other people. It is rude to not pay attention to somebody who is talking to you. The basis of any healthy relationship is mutual respect, show respect by giving them all your attention in person.
6. Look for shared interests
People want to be friends with somebody who shares similar interests. You connect better with people who have common interests. There will always be something to talk about. Having multiple hobbies and knowledge of different things is helpful to build rapport with people.
If you know that you are going to meet new people, get a heads up on what their likes and interests are. Build a common ground on which to base your conversations. It’s always good to have something in common like a tv show, a book, or your love for hiking. It could be anything that strikes a chord and gives you a chance to build rapport with others.
7. Ask conversation starters
It is imperative to start conversations on the right note to create interest and connection with another person. Often we don’t know how to initiate a conversation. Asking questions is a good way to start a dialogue. Knowing the right questions is the essence of enjoyable conversations.
Ask open-ended questions instead of closed-ended questions. Open-ended questions encourage people to elaborate their thoughts and opinions. Ask questions that start with who, why, what, when, where, and how. A simple question like, “how was your day?” will give people an opportunity to tell you more about their day.
Whereas closed-ended questions usually have ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers. It doesn’t establish a conversation. Ask somebody ‘Do you like this coffee?” and they will answer with a yes or no but if you ask, “How do you like your coffee?” you are bound to get a more elaborate reply that can start a conversation.
8. Assume everyone has something to teach you
Assuming you are learning something from everyone will make you more attentive and alert. Think of it as school learning, as kids we would be open to new subjects and try to know more about them. Asking questions is one way to learn more about a person. Display your interest in listening to people around you speak.
All the wonderful creations in the world come from the human mind. Isn’t that awe-inspiring? It is. Be sincere with your responses. This makes you more likable compared to others. Let your inquisitive mind do the work, don’t shy away from learning.
When you make others believe that they are teaching you something, they share deeper ideas and thoughts. This builds trust and a sense of genuineness among people. If you can practice this trick, you will become a more likable person.
9. Be reliable and balanced
There are chances that people will ignore you if you are unpredictable, hot-tempered, or low-spirited. That’s exactly what you should avoid if you want to be more likable. You won’t be making it to anybody’s ‘most favorite’ list if you display unpredictability or emotional instability.
It is always good to be quiet when you are having a bad day. You don’t always have to express everything that is going on in your mind. People who know how to control their emotions and have a balanced attitude are always more likable than others.
People will approach you only when they know you are reliable and balanced. A person who has his temper flying off the roof won’t have many friends than a person who is calm and composed most of the time. Feel all the emotions if you are stressed or angry but don’t let it dictate your communication with others. Take some time off to understand your emotional state and find ways to deal with it without blasting off at others. Be it bad mood or good, don’t allow it to control you. Sometimes, people make promises when they are extremely happy but can’t keep them up as the happiness fades. This will make you unreliable. Learn to control your emotions to be more reliable and balanced.
10. Synchronize yourself to those around you
Mimicking other people’s actions while having a conversation with them makes them feel more connected to you. It is something that we have been doing as infants and children. It comes naturally to us. This is natural synchronization.
Everyone likes somebody who observes them and tries to imitate them. Social interactions improve when you find a copycat. When somebody smiles at you, you will smile back at them without even realizing it. Sometimes we imitate others breathing patterns, clothes, or body language unintentionally. When somebody talks to you in a hushed voice, you reciprocate similarly. This builds a bond and genuine liking for another person.
You should consciously mirror people’s actions without making them uncomfortable. This makes others feel that you have great compatibility and will relate to you. Matching your body language to those around you will make others feel important and this increases your chances of being known as a friendly person.
11. Say what you mean verbally and nonverbally
Body language is the most important aspect when communicating with others. We all have experienced times when we say we are okay but our body language says otherwise. Many people don’t maintain eye contact when they are lying or have a smiling face while using a sad tone of voice. This discrepancy between verbal and nonverbal cues is difficult to understand for many and may even be confusing.
Nobody wants to put their trust in people who give mixed signals. Body language always gives away your true emotions. One good practice is to always maintain eye contact with others, this shows your interest and attention to others. Practice not crossing your arms while talking, have good posture, and maintain a balanced tone of voice. Maintain balanced facial expressions, smile at people to show enthusiasm. Good body language shows you are open-minded and flexible. Say what you mean verbally and through your body language as well and people will trust you more.
12. Don’t hog the spotlight
Nobody likes a person who hogs the spotlight. People tend to stay away from attention-seekers. Everybody likes to get some attention from time to time. Self-absorbed and self-centered people generally lose out on the opportunity to help others.
Likable people share the spotlight with others and don’t hog it all by themselves. They garner attention by giving attention to others. Likable people know how and when to praise somebody without being over-friendly and awkward. They know how to involve shy people in their conversation without making them feel targeted. You automatically become a likable person when you offer comfort and help to other socially awkward individuals.
13. Ask more questions about others than you make statements about yourself
A likable person will always focus their conversations on the other person than on themselves. Ask more questions about others, this shows your excitement and enthusiasm to know them.
When you keep making statements about yourself instead of asking questions about them, they tend to assume that you are self-centered and lose respect. Asking questions about others displays genuine eagerness to know more about them and that you value their inputs. A person will feel coveted and appreciated with questions about their lives.
Asking questions makes people believe that you are listening to them and want to seek more knowledge from them. A person who can hold conversations centered on others rather than themselves will always be more likable.
Conclusion
Likable people are rare and indispensable in every social setting. They know how to make connections and encourage others to put their best step forward. You don’t have to worry anymore about how to be more likable. Use these 13 tips and jump up the likability quotient. Some people are naturally charming but others can upgrade their social skills with these tips and become more likable.
